


Losing Grip

by mrssnape



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 00:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2672720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrssnape/pseuds/mrssnape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Renesmee's birthday and she couldn't look lovelier. Jacob doesn't know how much longer he can hold his feelings back...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing Grip

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I wrote a few years ago and decided to post here. It's a little embarrassing, but I thought some may enjoy it. Seth is a little OOC, but at the time I felt it appropriate for the story. Thanks for reading!

Jacob brought Renesmee to his chest and held her there, sighing deeply and comfortably as he stole a glance at her beautiful face. He could stare at her all night long if he could, seeing the way her eyelashes wafted softly against the cool night air, the way her heart-shaped face and cheeks always held a slight twinge of pink. Renesmee's face tilted up to meet him and she smiled shyly, brown eyes twinkling.

  
"Are you excited about your birthday tomorrow?" Jacob asked as Renesmee shivered. He instinctively pulled her closer to his side with one hand behind his head. Renesmee's soft hand was placed on Jacob's cheek and gave him a fond memory of a party the Cullen's had thrown for her the year before. Jacob grinned and chuckled, nodding his head.

  
"That was a pretty awesome bash they pulled off for you."

  
Nessie's smile radiated through to the very depth of Jacob's heart. "I don't think they'll be able to pull off anything better." She replied. Her voice reminded Jacob of Bella's, with a tinge more sweetness that he adored.

  
"Oh I don't know about that, I think they can top anything if they set their mind to it. You should've seen your mom's graduation party and wedding. Insane."

  
"I have!" She replied with a soft giggle.

  
Jacob's hand slipped from behind his head and smacked his forehead. "Of course!" He slipped it back behind his head and searched the stars for any constellations he recognized. The stars didn't even compare to the beautiful twinkling he saw in Renesmee's deep chocolate brown eyes. He never thought he could admit this, but as he lay here with Renesmee in his arms, so soft and warm, he saw her as more beautiful than her mother.

  
Renesmee shivered again despite being so close to Jacob and he let out a soft sigh, knowing their time was up. "Time to go in?" he asked and she nodded. Jacob clambered to his feet and pulled Nessie up with him, hugging her shoulders as he walked her to the door. Once they arrived on the porch, Renesmee turned to Jacob and smiled radiantly at him.

  
"Thanks for being here Jacob. I love talking to you." She squeezed his hand.

  
"Of course Ness. I'll come back tomorrow and maybe we can go running in the forest."

  
Her eyes lit up with excitement at the suggestion. Jacob leaned down and kissed her forehead tenderly, trying to put out the best "big brother" feeling he could muster. Renesmee still had no clue of the feelings Jacob held for her. Jacob didn't want her to know - not just yet at least. He petted back her curls and smiled at her one more time, opening the door to the Cullen home for her. She smiled in thanks, ducking under Jacob's arm to go inside. Jacob was happy that Renesmee hadn't inherited her mother's height. At least Renesmee came up to Jacob's chin and not his chest.

  
"I heard that and Bella is perfect." Edward growled from inside the house.

  
Jake shook his head and grinned, running off the porch and into the luscious trees a hundred yards ahead. He felt the tremor of his body erupt and he was charging through the forest. The ground was soft and moist from the night's late dew and he grinned happily, running as fast as he could towards his home in La Push. He closed his eyes as the clearing opened, feeling the brisk air on his face as he tilted his head back. He loved to run free this time of night, what was even better was when he had Nessie with him, clinging to his back as he laughter sounded like tiny bells clinging together merrily.

  
He slowed once he reached the small house and opened the door, ducking so not to slam his head on the top of the doorframe.

  
"Hey Dad." He grinned at Billy, who was watching the evening news on TV.

  
"How did it go?" Billy asked, wheeling into the kitchen to follow Jacob.

  
Jake opened the fridge and bent over like an aged willow tree, searching for nothing in particular. He settled on half a large pizza, pulling the box out and holding it under his arm. "Fine. It's always good Dad." He grinned again and kissed the top of Billy's head. "Night Pop."

  
Billy just shook his head and wheeled back into the living room with a smile across his face.

  
Once Jacob made it back to his room, he piled two slices of cold pizza together and stuffed them in his mouth, thinking of Renesmee. He couldn't believe she was going to be an adult tomorrow. Where had the time gone? He heard parents say that about their kids all the time but didn't really understand it until now. It had been a glorious time with Renesmee, and now she was ready to face the world of adulthood.

  
He swallowed the pizza and winced, the large ball of chewed up mush slowly making its way down his throat. He grunted with discomfort as he picked up another slice and chewed it a little more carefully. He could just see the look of disgust on Nessie's face if she were sitting on the bed with him. She'd never been to his house before, Edward hadn't allowed it.

  
He flopped backwards on his bed and listened to the waves crash gently against one another and yawned, soothed by this sound. Jacob closed his eyes and let the sound of the ocean and Renesmee's laugh lull him into a deep sleep.

  
The gentle breeze against Jacob's face was what woke him. He stretched and heard his joints crack from lack of use during the night. He suddenly sat up straighter, remembering what day it was. A grin spread across his face as he wrapped a pair of jeans and polo shirt around his ankle with a piece of twine.

  
"Going to see her are we?" Billy smirked as he wheeled past his room.

  
'Today is her birthday Dad." Jacob said with a grin that copied his father's. "You know I gotta see her."

  
"Yeah, yeah." Billy murmured as he rolled into the kitchen. "Tell Charlie I'll be by later to pick him up for fishing."

  
"Will do!" He called as he sprinted into the thick green of the forest to phase. The feeling of release covered his body as he felt himself slowly change into the shaggy russet colored wolf he enjoyed even more than being a human. He raced through the thick brush of the forest, weaving through the branches like a brown bullet.

  
Jacob finally approached the Cullen estate and phased back into his human form, slipping into the clothes he brought with him. He jogged up the stairs and met Rosalie at the door. She turned up her nose at him in distaste. "What are you doing here, Mutt?"

  
"Here to crash the party of course." He smiled sweetly. Rosalie rolled her eyes and managed to slide past him with a plate of dainty sandwiches Jacob could've eaten in one gulp. Jacob followed her and grabbed a handful of the small triangles and shoved them in his mouth. Rosalie whipped around and glared at him.

  
"Touch these again Mutt and I'll neuter you myself."  
Jacob grinned easily and smacked his lips. "Scary. Are you going to sick your big bad boyfriend on me? Last I heard his head was full of sawdust. Easy enough to take on."

  
She snarled at the negative mention of Emmett. "No. I'd handle you myself."

  
"Oh, that reminds me! Why do you see blondes clutching their heads?"

  
Rosalie rolled her eyes and continued down the steps towards the party. Jacob continued to follow her, his gate keeping up with hers though not as graceful and delicate. "Do you give up? That's what I thought." He stole yet another couple sandwiches and spotted Edward and Bella walking together along the perimeter of the gated area with Alice almost dancing in front of them, using her arms to explain something with dramatic effect.

  
"They need to hold onto their thoughts somehow!" He crode with laughter as Rosalie glared at him and slammed the tray down so hard the legs of the table collapsed against the grass. She turned to face him with her hands clenched together so tightly even her pale skin looked even whiter.

  
"Please Aunt Rose," Renesmee's musical voice sliced the barrier between them as she put a hand on her aunt's arm, the other on Jacob's chest. "It's my birthday...please don't kill him today?" She smiled and Jacob felt his heart melt once again.

  
"You're lucky Mutt." Rosalie sneered and glided away to join Emmett and Jasper in the courtyard, hanging balloons from the gazebo.

  
"I'm glad you came early." Renesmee's soft voice echoed over the plains of his chest, causing him to shiver despite his temperature. He bent and kissed her hair, letting his lips linger on her scalp as he breathed her in. He loved the way she smelled; a mix of rainwater and a soft lavender. "I wanted to spend some time alone with you before the guests arrived."

  
Jacob smiled against her hair and finally pulled his face away. "I'm glad I came early too."

  
"Jacob! I didn't know you'd be gracing us with your presence so early." Edward's smooth voice came from behind them. Jacob could sense the tension in his voice. Ever since Renesmee had grown into such a beautiful woman and she made her choice to be involved with Jacob, Edward of course was weary.

  
Bella gave Jacob a hug. "We're glad to see you Jake, thanks for coming!"

  
"Of course Bells." He grinned and extended his hand for Edward's. He shook it and nodded his head, putting his hand back on Bella's waist.

  
"Hello Jacob!" Alice's voice chimed across from them as Jasper and Alice approached them. Jasper's elbow was extended with Alice's hand slipped through it. Jacob always thought the two of them belonged on the top of a wedding cake.

  
"Hey Alice...hey Jasper." He smiled again.

  
As he suspected, Edward's body language relaxed instantly and the goofy smile returned to his face. Jacob appreciated Jasper just a little more for that. Renesmee pulled Jacob's hand and he waved to all of them stupidly before following her. "You promised me you'd take me running didn't you?" Renesmee grinned as she turned around to face him while still walking.

Jacob watched her happily as the sun dipped into her beautiful hair, her skin slightly shimmering with diamond dust in the rays. "These are my only clothes Ness...I don't think your Dad would be too happy if I returned you naked."

She giggled and turned herself in a circle that was worthy of Alice into the crook of Jake's body as his heavy arm rested on her shoulder. With a smile, he lowered his face into Renesmee's hair and kissed it once more. He couldn't get enough of the scent she held.

"Please Jake?" She asked. "I just want to run for a bit."

With a begrudging smile, he pulled her to an opening that stretched into the familiar area of thick trees. "Alright, but you have to promise not to look." He wagged his finger reprovingly at her.

"I don't want you to be showing anyone else my body."

Renesmee giggled again and turned around, covering her hands with her eyes.

"No peeking now..." Jake warned as he began to unbutton his shirt. He kept his eyes on Renesmee's back as he did so, observing the graceful curve of her hips, the perfect arch of her back. He swallowed hard and had to focus on the undoing of his shirt and folding it as to not think any less than perfect thoughts of this beautiful young woman in front of him.

"Are you done yet?" Renesmee asked in an impatient tone.

"Patience is a virtue my dear." Jacob chided as he quickly slipped out of his black dress pants and boxers. His cheeks felt abnormally pink as he realized how vulnerable he was at that moment.

He never allowed Renesmee to see his body, not even his bare chest. He didn't feel comfortable for some reason; like he was taking away her innocence by seeing a man naked. He gripped the wonderfully moist soil with his feet and phased back into his wolf form.

Trotting over to Renesmee, he licked her hand and nudged her shoulder with his enormous head. She giggled and turned, giving him a scratch behind the ears. Jacob panted happily, his eyes still the same deep brown they always were. He knelt on the ground and allowed Nessie to hop on his back. She took hold of the fur around his lean shoulders.

"I'm ready Jakey!" She squealed.

With a low growl of pleasure, Jacob sprinted off into the thicket of trees happily. The air began to grow cooler as he made his way closer to First Beach. He could feel Renesmee shivering as he finally crouched down to let her slide off. She immediately took hold of the fur around his face and pulled it so he looked at her. "I wanna see you Jake...please?"

Immediately, he knew what she was speaking of. He rolled his head back to form a 'no' and ended it with a growl. "Please Jake?" She repeated, her eyes bore into his. "It's the one thing I want for my birthday."

Jacob pulled away from her and trotted swiftly to a large overturned tree, phasing back into himself and slipped his jeans on. "Ness I don't think it's a good idea!"

"Jacob!" She squealed indignantly, Jacob catching a glimpse of Bella all over again as Renesmee stamped her foot into the sand. "Please! It sounds ridiculous -"

"That's 'cause it IS ridiculous!" He pointed out, playing with the shirt in his hands. He couldn't believe he was now reconsidering his 'rules'. Renesmee could get him to walk through fire if he knew that was what she desired.

"We've been together forever Jacob! Don't I have a right to be curious?" She asked, the demanding tone leaving her voice. Jake sighed.

"Okay. But I'm only showing you my chest!" He folded the shirt back and hung it from his belt loop. Slowly he stood, looking into Renesmee's face for any kind of reaction. He didn't need to look for long, the pleasure was very evident on her delicate features. Slowly, Renesmee made her way over to Jacob and placed her cool hands over his chest.

Jacob saw how quickly her brown eyes moved, taking in each inch of skin on his body and making him grow quite self-conscious. "Okay," he swallowed, "that's enough of that...we should get you back."

"No!" Renesmee cried, her fingers flexing against him. "No," she repeated again, softer this time. "I'm not ready to leave yet."

Jacob examined Renesmee's face. He'd never seen someone so intent on just looking at his body before. Sure, the girls around La Push always stared at him, but he didn't feel the same intensity as Renesmee's. It was almost like she was reading his skin, taking each ripple or mark for purchase into memory. He stayed still and quiet until Renesmee finally was able to look into his face again.

"Okay," she said with a smile and kissed his chest. "I'm ready."  
The kiss sent shivers up Jacob's spine as he returned to the tree stump to phase and bring Renesmee back to her party. He could be with her all day if she didn't need sleep. Sometimes he wished she didn't. He could imagine the two of them sitting on the long wrap around porch just talking as they watched the sun go down and rise up again like he had with Bella when she was turned.

Jacob delivered Renesmee to the entrance of the woods, then trotted back when he was fully clothed.

"Thank you again Jake." She smiled radiantly and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He grinned and squeezed her hand. "Any time."

The pair of them made their way back to the party and slipped in with the crowd of guests coming through as not to disturb them. "Nessie!" Edward called for his daughter. "There you are - there's someone here I want you to meet. They've come a long way." Edward began to walk Renesmee over as she took Jake's hand, forcing his companionship.

Through the crowd he could see a familiar mop of black hair. His eyes grew wider as the crowd began to filter and the mystery guest's face was revealed. "Seth?" Jacob asked in amazement.

Seth's eyes were beaming, though it was not at Jacob. His attention was directed to Jacob's left...Renesmee.

Seth had the same look in his eyes when...no. Jacob's eyes narrowed as he took a few steps back to control his temper. He watched as Edward introduced Renesmee to Seth. Seth smiled and gave her cheek a small peck. Rage filled him to the brim and he had to escape back into the woods to phase. He raced up and down the coast line for what seemed like hours, howling and growling uncontrollably. Seth was back. And possible imprinting on Jacob's soul mate.

Renesmee wouldn't fall for Seth's advances would she? Jacob had no way of knowing for certain. The one thing he did know was that his world, the world that had been so crystal clear not even two hours ago, had been turned upside down.

Jacob continued to sprint through the thick overhang of branches until he finally reached the clearing he'd been searching for. A heavy breeze caught his fur and ruffled it. Jake closed his eyes and grunted loudly, trying to shake the image of Seth's ogling eyes on his Renesmee. His sweet, beautiful, and innocent Renesmee. His heart began to ache as one scenario after the next began to form in his head. Edward wouldn't have minded Seth going after his beautiful daughter. In essence, they were closer to age than Jacob was. Seth was a help to them when the Volturi were coming for them. Seth didn't cause the trouble Jake had between him and Bella. Seth had the chance Jacob would never have again.

  
He phased back into his human form, not bothering to worry about his bare body and flung himself towards the opening in the trees. The harsh feelings and memories of Seth flushed from his brain as he took a flying leap off the cliff, arching his broad back into a dive into the frigid waters below. His body sliced through the blue water like a knife, coming up for air a few moments later. He gasped for breath, looking up at the place where he'd just come from, grinning incessantly. A thrill of excitement shot through him, giving him the same feeling he had when he first set eyes on Renesmee's pale face. The adrenaline in his body pulsed over and over, giving his heart reason to beat again.

  
"Fine Seth," he said to no one in particular. "If you want to play that way, we can." He then began to swim back to land. Guilt started to set inside him. This day was supposed to be about Renesmee and he turned it into himself. He could picture Renesmee now, standing amongst her family and friends searching for Jacob and wondering where he went. Her eyes pierced him and he wasn't even there. Quickly, Jacob ran back to his house and changed again into something decent. He decided on jeans and a blue button down shirt that Renesmee always commented on when she saw him.

  
With a fresh grin on his face that had nothing to do with the adrenaline still pumping through him, he darted back off towards the Cullen's estate.

"Where were you?" Renesmee asked when she finally spotted his face in the crowd. "You had me worried!"

"I'm sorry Ness, I needed to get something from home." Jacob kissed Renesmee's forehead and pulled her body close to his. "Did I miss anything interesting from the party?"

Renesmee's hand came up and rested against his cheek. The cool feeling of it against his fevered skin felt wonderful. He closed his eyes and let the images of Charlie talking to Bella and Renesmee fill his mind. Rosalie and Emmett rough-housing together on the lawn, Alice dancing happily around Jasper, who was grinned and trying to snatch her waist. He felt her hand pull away and he opened his eyes again, nodding. "Seems like a nice party so far."

  
She nodded in agreement. "It's lovely. But now it's nicer now that I know you're back safely." Her cheek rested against his chest and his hands instinctively pulled her into him, not caring if any of the Cullen's, particularly Edward, saw them. All he cared about at that moment was Renesmee and her wonderful touch, her beautiful nature. "Seth's here." She mumbled.

  
Obviously she hadn't seen Jacob's reaction to their greeting before. "Oh? I'd like to see him."

  
She looked up and scanned the faces in the crowd for Seth's. Eventually, she pointed him out. "There. I'm going to speak with Alice about something, you go ahead and I'll talk to you later." She smiled at him and slipped out of his arms, disappearing into the swirl of people.

  
"Jacob!" Charlie's voice boomed and a large hand clapped him on the back. "How the Hell are ya?"

  
He smiled and turned to meet Charlie's welcome. "Hey Charlie...doing pretty well and yourself?"

"Doing well! Sue and I decided to tie the knot next January." Charlie was beaming.

"Congratulations!" He said in surprise. "I didn't know you and Sue were that serious!"

"Neither did I until she told me so." Charlie winked at him and they both chuckled with amusement. He felt another crushing blow to his ribcage and looked down to see Seth there, grinning at him. Jacob tried to suppress the urge to pummel him right there and grinned at him.

"Seth! Hey man! How are you?"

"Pretty well and yourself? I haven't seen you in forever!"

"I'm great...and it has been forever. Six years." He said with a soft hint of challenge on his lips. He licked them, they tasted sour as if venom were dripping from them. For once in his life he felt like a vampire. "So how have you been? Anything exciting you're up to? Girls?" He asked.

Jacob wanted to smack the grin he had on his face right off. "Nope. Just going to school and getting a degree...trying to keep the wolf thing on the down low though, obviously."

"Yeah." He agreed. Jacob felt the cool hands of Renesmee snake around his middle.

"I see you two found each other again." She smiled and gave a giggle.

Jacob grinned and gave her side a squeeze as he watched Seth's expression melt into that infuriating dazed look. "We did. We were just catching up when you came along." He chuckled and kissed her temple.

"I can't get over how much you've changed Nessie." Seth commented. "You look great."

"Thanks Seth!" Nessie beamed at him, looking even more radiant than before. Jacob felt his grip tighten against her waist. His fingers tightened against the silk fabric, wrinkling it. "Jake! Be careful, Alice will have your head for messing this up." She laughed and slightly pulled away from him.

"Sorry," he mumbled and flattened his palm against the small of her back instead. He felt like he needed to keep his hands on her; to show Seth that Renesmee wasn't just a piece of meat he could grab. Nessie was his - no one else's. The beautiful twinkle of violins erupted from the center platform where they put a large square of planks to sub for a dance floor.

"May I have this dance?" Seth asked, extending his hand towards Renesmee. She giggled and took it, allowing him to lead her to the floor and pulled her against him. Jacob could she the hesitation in her demeanor, others seeing the look on Jacob's face and made sure to stay far away from him. Leah had the strength to come over first.

"I've never seen him look like THAT before." She said, crossing her arms.

That didn't help. He didn't respond and just watched, his fists buried in his pockets so no one saw the tension. He was getting close to his breaking point and didn't want anyone to see. He finally turned to look at Leah, having not seen her in five years. Seth went off to Boarding school in California after the Volturi left, Leah deciding to stay with Sue. Jacob and Leah grew to be comfortable with one another, Jake now understanding Leah's feelings against Sam and Emily.

"Leah? Kindly shut up." Jacob grumbled and leaned against the wall of the house.

She frowned. "What?"

"I'm really not in the mood to be discussing Seth's expressions and his little movements." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm. He watched the two of them dance moodily. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Leah smirk.

"What, you're not up for a little competition? Seems to me my baby brother has finally imprinted."

"Shut UP Leah!" He roared. Whirling around, Jacob found his face to be right next to hers. Leah pulled up to her full height, pushing her chest defensively against his. If he wasn't so infuriated with her, he would have respected her complete lack of fear. "Shut UP before I kill you!"

"Is everything alright over here?" Charlie came over to us and put a hand on his shoulder. Of course he'd have to look after his precious new step-daughter. Keep the peace Charlie.

"Fine." Jacob mumbled and stormed off into the woods.

All Jacob could see in his mind's eye was Seth's gaze on Renesmee. His Renesmee. His heart hammered hard against his chest when he thought of the thoughts racing through Seth's head when Seth saw her. He continued his long trek into the deepest of forest, where only the damned seemed to be executed...where all was silent and still. He finally paused in an opening of the brush and looked around, panting hard. His dark eyes scanned the scenery around him, no tree differentiating itself from another. Renesmee's beautiful face entered his mind for the millionth time that afternoon. How could he be so irrational when it came to her? Even the slightest vision of her face sent his world spiraling.

His thoughts were conflicted - thrashing between the white parts and black. There was never going to be a grey when it came to Renesmee. She was the fire inside Jacob's heart that would never die. There would always be a burn. His hands rose to his face and he rubbed it so hard his skin grew warmer than normal. How could he hate someone who is doing the exact same thing he did? Could he really blame him? He didn't know Jacob was so obsessed with Renesmee...he didn't know if they were dating yet. Were they even dating? What if Nessie didn't even think of him in that way in the first place? Everything that Jacob never questioned...all that he thought he could always count on was now taking a spin into nothingness.

  
"I can't go back there for a fourth time...I'll just want to run away again." He told himself. "You ran away on her birthday. The one day that she was so looking forward to - the day that she was finally grown into a woman and you're missing it because of your stupid ego." He said in disgust as he started running towards La Push. Everything in his mind told him to go back to the party but he just couldn't. He then thought of Renesmee's disappointment at Jacob's absence. Seth would be there to comfort her...put an arm around her shoulders and let her feel the same warmth he could provide for her.

  
Jacob barred his teeth and snarled as he ripped through the fallen trees and thickets of branches, stopping suddenly. What if he did happen to go back to the party, just not show himself? He just wanted to keep an eye on things. The Cullen's would know right away of course, but Renesmee wouldn't. Maybe if Jacob told them he didn't want to be seen through his mind they would respect his wishes. There was always a chance that the blonde skank would rat him out, but that was a chance he needed to take. The idea of Seth being near Renesmee made him want to throw up.

  
He turned around quickly and started his way back towards the Cullen's estate. What would happen if Jacob did see Seth and Renesmee together? Would he be able to control his temper? You need to control yourself Jacob. You need to make sure you stay hidden. Stand your ground...don't let the jealousy make you lose sight of what you're supposed to be doing. He quietly jetted himself from the forest and hid behind a patch of thick greenery.

  
Edward immediately turned and looked directly at the place he was hidden. Don't tell her I'm here. I don't want to be noticed. I can't let her see me. He prayed Edward understood. He didn't think he'd have a problem with Jacob staying away from his daughter in the first place. With a slight nod, Edwards turned back around and approached Bella, whispering something into her ear. She nodded as well and switched her gaze to Renesmee who was sitting at a table with Alice and Emmett, her head hung low. Jacob's eyes narrowed in concentration, trying to read Alice's lips but had no success.

  
Seth suddenly came over to them and took the seat next to Renesmee. Even though Jacob was not in wolf form, he could feel the hackles on the back of his neck rise in anger and disgust. Seth's hand rested on the back of Renesmee's chair as he talked with Alice. Jake hated to admit how natural it looked for them...he was like he was watching himself and it killed him. Seth's other hand extended towards Renesmee and he lifted her chin up. Renesmee looked at him and smiled briefly.

  
Jacob grasped the nearest tree trunk and bent his fingers against it, trying to hold in his anger. It was a stupid idea to return here. What did he think he was going to find anyway? There was no way he could tell what this was going to amount to. There was no way to tell how this situation was going to play out.

  
His eyes jerked back over to the table and noticed Seth handing her a small box. He saw her mouth form a 'thank you' and she opened it. She pulled a wooden carved necklace from the box with a small gem twinkling from the center...a heart? Seth leaned in and kissed her cheek. He couldn't watch anymore. He felt the hair spring out from all over his body, his nose elongating into his long snout. The blissful release of being able to hear from miles away entered his senses. He was able to focus in on the remainder of their conversation.

  
"...made it especially for you. I hope you like it."

"Thank you Seth...I love it."

Jacob's deep brown eyes seemed to swirl in their sockets as he tried to keep his massive body hidden in the brush.

Seth shifted in his seat. "So I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out for dinner sometime...you eat right?" He grinned.

A snarl ripped from the bushes as Jacob erupted from behind it, taking gigantic leaps towards Seth. There was an uproar of people screaming and moving out of the way, tables being overturned, plates soaring in the air and onto the floor with a loud crash. Emmett grabbed Renesmee and sped towards the house. Seth whirled around and was face to face with Jacob, snarling and panting. Immediately seeming to understand, Seth morphed into the grey, smaller wolf.

  
What in the Hell are you doing? Seth growled defensively.

  
Edward tried to put a hand on Jacob's massive shoulder blade. Jacob whirled around and snapped angrily towards him. This is between Seth and I. Get out of the way.

  
This isn't the way to solve anything. You're going to get yourself killed. Edward's eyes were daggers on Jacob. I will not allow my daughter to see this. She deserves more than what you're giving her.

  
She deserves more than you. Seth's sneered.

  
Jacob roared with anger and charged at Seth, sinking his teeth into his neck. Seth yelped in surprise and pawed at his snout to get him off. Edward and Emmett ran towards them and tackled Jacob to the ground. Get a hold of yourself! Look at Renesmee's face! Look at what you're doing to her!

  
In Jacob's rage, he found Renesmee. She was standing on the porch, Bella holding her close to her. The look on Renesmee's face made Jacob feel like a monster. His eyes softened when he saw her, he just wanted to hold her forever. He wanted to make sure that she felt safe and he wanted to assure her that he would never do anything to hurt her. He slowly turned back into his human form, wrenching himself away from Edward.

  
He hated himself for doing this to her. He knew he could never hurt her again.

  
He was standing in the ocean, the waves flapping gently against his knees. His memories consisted of only what happened earlier that day. Renesmee hadn't been able to keep up with his darting through the forest and back into the familiar territory of La Push. He was now in the ocean, wishing the water would wash away his thoughts like it did pictures in the sand. Everything was different now. Nessie would never take him back after this, Edward wouldn't want his daughter with someone who had such a short temper.

  
He stared at the water and suddenly dived in and began to petal towards the bottom. It was easier to hold his breath underneath the frigid water than he expected. Jacob could easily imagine himself slowly drifting to the bottom, watching his last bubble of air filter to surface. He opened his eyes and the saltiness of the water burned them harshly. He could see the soft gleam of moonlight shine through the darkness and lit the water around him. Was this a sign that this was the right thing to do? Jacob's heart began to ache as he came to the realization that Nessie would be without him...and what was more devastating that that, he'd be without her.

  
Jacob was a monster; someone as beautiful and delicate as Renesmee didn't deserve to be around something like that. As much as it hurt him, he knew that Seth would take care of her; they'd be a good match. His lungs felt like they were about to burst and his head began to ache. This must be the end, he thought as he slowly closed his eyes.

  
Suddenly hands clasped around his upper arms, pulling him to the surface. Jacob had become too weak to fight back as much as he wanted to. He couldn't recognize the faces if his rescuers, it was too dark for him to make out anything but the sand. They dropped him on the ground and crouched by him, peering into his face. It was then when he realized it was Leah and Embry.  
"What the Hell were you doing?!" Leah exclaimed, gasping and dripping wet. "Call me crazy but when you dive into the ocean, you usually want to come back up!" She was beyond outraged; the vein in her graceful neck was throbbing. Jake just sat there, not caring about much of anything. He was in Limbo - the grey space between black and white.

  
"JAKE!" Leah roared. Jacob finally looked up, for once hearing the familiar growl of the werewolf in human form. "Are you listening to me or do I have to whoop you into consciousness?!"

  
"What?"

Leah stared at him, trying to understand this new behavior he was pulling off. "Maybe you swallowed too much salt water."

He shook his head and rose to his feet. "No, I'm fine." The truth was he was far from fine - anyone that wasn't a complete idiot could see the despair in his eyes. Leah frowned and watched him as he took off his shirt and wrung it out, sniffing from the sea water.

"Oh really?" She prompted. "'Cause you don't look like you're fine does he, Embry?"

Embry, who looked like he'd just been doused in icy water, looked up. "Uhh...what?"

Jake couldn't help but smirk as he slipped his shirt back on. With the head of his body, it'd be dry in a few minutes. "I'm sorry guys but I have to go." He said and turned around to run but Leah's hand closed around his arm.

"Where are you going? I'm not going to let you go so you can go kill yourself somewhere else." She was still storming.

Jacob was tempted to tell her just so she'd let him go but as he watched her face he realized that she would never understand. No one would ever understand the torment he was going through. How often Renesmee's face came into his head as instinctively as the urge to run; how much he desired her. Oh God how he wanted to take Renesmee and run. He could finally have her to himself. Not worry about Seth stealing her away from him. "I'm not going to do anything I just need to see someone."

  
Leah let him go but the look of hesitation didn't leave her face. He immediately took off before Leah could change her mind and follow him. Transposing into wolf form once more, Jacob darted back into the forest towards the Cullen's estate. The cool air thrashing through his fur was exhilarating but it didn't even come close to the feeling Renesmee gave him. He padded lightly around the thick brush and his eyes fell on the party. There was no one remaining there, everything had been put away and it looked like there's never been a party at all.

  
He felt unnerved, like something big was about to happen. He slipped into jeans and a thin cotton shirt and felt the cool air brush against his bare arms and neck and for once in his life, he shivered at its touch. Slowly, he made his way down the rocky incline and to the front door of their home. Usually he just waltzed right in but he didn't feel that brave tonight. Before he raised his knuckles to tap on the door, it opened. He should've known.

  
Bella was standing in the threshold and didn't look too pleased with him. "You came back again." She said it with so much contempt, she should've just slapped him in the face.

  
He opened his mouth to speak but Bella stepped out of the doorway and closed it behind her. "You know you really upset Ness today Jacob. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life and you kept disappearing. No one knew where you were and you missed everything. What was going on? Don't you care about her?"

  
"Of course I care about her!" He said, a little hurt Bella would assume otherwise. "I just think that my being with her is hurting her. She and Seth seemed to be really close today."

  
"God Jake - can't you read her? She is hurt when you're not with her! It's too late to back out now, she's come to rely on you and it kills her when you don't deliver! I'm not going to keep putting her through this Jacob - if you're going to be there then start being there! If not then I think you.." Her voice wavered even in its velvet like tone. "I think you should leave and never come back."

  
Jacob's brow furrowed. "Did you think of that idea or did your husband?"

"Don't do this Jake." Bella sighed. "You know I love you. I have to think of my family too."

"I'm never going to leave Renesmee. I love her, she's the reason I came back."

Bella nodded and moved aside. "Come in. She's in the living room."

When Jacob walked in, he could see that the party had moved inside. He only realized at that moment that he was damp from the light drizzle coming from outside. He made his way through the foyer and into the large family room that wasn't as grand as the entrance. This room looked lived in, with suede couches and a fire place being the focal of the room. Renesmee was sitting on the couch, her back facing him and Rosalie's arm was around her shoulders, consoling her. Great, Jacob thought, I'd rather have to deal with Edward then this blonde wench.

"I'd like you to remember, you're in my house Mutt." Rosalie said from the couch, not even acknowledging him. Renesmee turned around and rose to her feet. Jacob was a little caught by her expression, he'd never seen her beautiful face more angry and hurt. She slapped her hands on Jacob's cheeks and scenes of her party filled his mind, the feelings of Renesmee's anger at Jacob's absence are most apparent. His eyes looked in her deep brown ones, like pools of murky water with no ending.

"I'm sorry Nessie." He whispered, pulling his hands from his face and holding them in his. The cool skin of her hands against his was a relief in the thick air of the room. He felt like just the atmosphere was choking him. "I wish I could help you understand."

His words were interrupted by Renesmee placing her palms on his chest and he closed his eyes automatically, sighing. He allowed her to see inside him then, giving up his defenses and just surrendering himself to her. That's what he always wanted to do ñ what he would continually to do for the rest of his life. After she pulled her hands off him, a cool chill ran up and down his body. He opened his eyes and realized Renesmee was hugging his waist and her cheek was resting on his chest. Elated, Jacob wrapped his arms around her and ran his fingers up and down her back soothingly. All was in place, until a window blasted open beside them.

Jacob instinctively yanked Renesmee out of the path of shattered glass and raced out of the room and onto the wraparound porch to see who the intruder was. "Seth!" He growled, looking around menacingly. "Come out here and fight like a man!" He could smell the sap in the trees, the slight muskiness of the dew that sat on the leaves. Jacob would have liked to stop to take in all the new smells in the ground the rain brought, but at that moment he was too angry; to blinded by rage to think of anything else.

Bushes rustled to the left of him and he whirled around, desperate to see him before he was seen. A pair of animal's eyes stared back at him and lept from the shrubbery with reflexes not unlike the vampires. The grey wolf pounced on top of him, knocking Jacob breathlessly to the floor. He landed with a loud thud and the wolf's vicious snout was nearly pressed against his face, snarling.

Jacob could feel himself transforming; the ominous shred of clothing as he did so. With a swift kick of his hind legs, he sent Seth flying backwards and rose to his four legs, hackles straight up in absolute fury. You think you are strong enough to overpower me Seth? You'll never have her.

Seth scrambled from the ground and began to charge him once more. You never will.

Anger flooded Jacob's every sense of being; shock that came in waves like the tides on First Beach. He opened his mouth and barred his teeth angrily, locking jaws with Seth and sent them both on their hind legs, batting and pushing at one another. Jacob could hear Renesmee's screams in protest but he didn't care at that moment. He needed to take care of Seth so there would be no more temptation.

The big alpha finally has some competition. Seth snorted and snarled again. Are you nervous now, Jake?

Jacob ran at him again. Seth's mouth sank into his front leg and crushed it with tremendous force. Jacob growled painfully and got a hold of Seth's throat, closing down on it with a sickening snap. It was Seth who yelped from shock and pain, immediately retreated back into the shrubbery.  
Come back here you coward! Let's settle this like real men! He looked around ferociously. Get out here. You know how much she means to me! Why are you doing this?!  
I want what you have.

The voice entered his head as though it was his own thought. He recognized the voice instantly - from all the nights Seth spent following Jacob around, patrolling the Cullen estate and acting like a complete knucklehead. She's the only one who understands me. I don't want anyone else.

She's mine Seth. Stay away from her. You know what I'm capable of. She doesn't want you. She wants me and we're going to make this work.

The bushes rustled again as Seth emerged once more. Jacob growled and dug his paws into the ground, ready to pounce. Seth however, did nothing. Jacob could see he was visibly wilted, surrendering his fight. Something inside Seth cracked, he did not have the desire to challenge Jacob. He knew that Jake would always be the alpha male, and he must do what his leader asked of him.

I'm going to be the bigger man here Jacob. You wanted to settle this through battle, I am going to settle this by letting her go. I love her enough that I won't let her see us tear each other up. You're selfish Jacob. You always have been and you always will be. Bella clearly loved Edward but you still pushed and pushed to see if she'd falter. You're just as bad as Victoria to her. It's never going to change.

Jacob growled once again and snapped at Seth, but he was already racing towards the wide horizon of forest.

"Jake!" Renesmee came down the stairs and stopped, lips parted and her dark hair fell in loose curls around her heart-shaped face. He locked his dark eyes with hers and without a word, she jumped on to his back gracefully and the two of them hurried off into the thick forest before anyone could follow.

  
He ran for what seemed like ages; never stopping despite the aching pain in his front leg. He finally could go no more and crouched to let Renesmee off his back at a familiar area with a stream and many thick tree trunks to morph back into. He limped away from her and behind one of those trunks, thankful he'd been clever enough to leave extra changes of clothing here in case something like this ever happened.

  
Once back in human form, he slipped on the pair of jeans and ribbed tank top and went to meet Renesmee by the stream. His arm was worse than he expected; blood was dripping rapidly from his shoulder onto the damp moss below. He could hear Renesmee take a deep breath in and turned to face him. "Oh Jake." She said in her beautifully captivating tone.

  
"Don't worry about me. It'll heal in a couple of hours; ten max." He used another tank from behind the trunk to wrap it and took a seat next to her on an oversized rock by the stream.

  
"Can I at least look at it?" She asked, beginning to unwrap it without waiting for Jacob's reply. The gash was certainly deep, but she knew that Jacob wasn't underplaying - it was going to heal before the morning ensued. Her eyes fell on his beautiful skin and wonder began to cloud her thoughts. "Jacob?" she said softly, more to herself than to him.

  
"Mm?" He asked, his attention taken by a bird above them.

  
She bit her lip and ran her fingers along the veins of his forearm. "I've been wondering what it'd be like to taste your blood?"

  
His head turned down to look into her face. He'd never even given that any thought before now - the idea that Renesmee was half vampire didn't cross his mind. He loved Renesmee because she just...was. She didn't have to form to any type of constraint. Nessie was her own person, not human nor monster. "I don't know if I'd taste very good. Apparently I don't have the best smell." He teased.

  
She smiled and gently swatted his leg with her hand. "I'm serious Jake. You smell fine to me, anyway."

Jacob thought about this for a moment, then shrugged. "If you want to try it. I don't mind."

Renesmee licked her lips and moved towards his flesh. Her mouth covered half of his wound and gently sucked. The taste on her tongue was incredible; she'd never tasted blood as sweet as Jacob's. It was as though all of his kind spirit and tenderness has been infused into his stream, making him taste all the most sweet. She paused to look at him.

His eyes were closed and his head tilted back, the lump in his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

"I hope I'm not hurting you," she whispered towards him. Jacob could hardly hear her over the steady trickle of the stream in front of them. He shook his head and smiled down at her, love filling every crevice of his soul.

"No, you're doing just the opposite."

The smiled that spread across Renesmee's face brightened her time times more than the sun shining against their backs. She edged herself towards the stream and took a sip of the water to clean herself of him, despite her wanting to keep his blood on her, a mark that the belonged together. She did it for Jacob, just like she did everything for him.

  
"Do you think Seth is going to be okay?" She asked.

  
His jaw tightened momentarily then relaxed. As much as he hated Seth, he'd been there for him when he needed him. "Yeah, I think he'll be okay. He'll heal faster than me since he's younger." Jacob's fingers wrapped around Renesmee's hand and squeezed her fingers gently, trying to bring her some kind of comfort. She smiled at him and stroked his forearm gently. She tilted her mouth upwards and brushed her lips against his jaw and then his chin.

  
Jacob shivered. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck stood straight up just as they always did when Renesmee touched him. Suddenly her lips were on his - fevered, and plump with wanting. He didn't know what to do with his hands, his body, all of this was coming in a flash flood of emotions and the ache for physical contact. He loved her for so long.

  
The deep brown eyes that mirrored her mother looked at him solemnly. "Aren't you going to give me my birthday present?" She asked. Jacob hesitated from the shock and stared at her with indecent confusion.

  
"It's back at the house. Do you want me to -"

She put a pale finger to his lips to shush him. "I mean the present I really desire."

"What would that be?" He asked, cocking his head.

Her rosy lips tugged upwards into a breathtaking smile. "You," was all she could say to him.

Their eyes locked once more and finally Jacob understood what she was trying to say. A million thoughts flooded into his head at once. Is she really asking me this? He didn't want to hurt her but at the same time he couldn't remember the last time he'd wanted anything so much in his life. The desperation he once felt for Bella was nothing compared to the inhumane need to be close to Renesmee. Jacob was glad they were far enough away that Edward wouldn't hear his thoughts.

"Nessie," he sighed heavily. "You know I love you, but-"  
She moved closer to him, their faces less than an inch apart. "What would it be hurting Jacob? I'm ready, I've loved you my whole life. Isn't this what you wanted? We are the same person Jacob, our thoughts are the same. I want to show you my love." Her put her hand on his warm cheek and smoothed it.

  
"You don't have to show me Ness, I've known since the first day I took you in my arms. I didn't care if you didn't love me back, I just wanted to protect you." He sighed, his confliction growing deeper and harder to understand. He wanted this from her, but he didn't feel right taking it. What would he do when Bella found out what he'd done to her precious daughter? Even greater than that, Edward and Emmett? "I'm not doing a very good job of doing even that anymore, am I?" He exhaled.

  
Renesmee looked at him with the same puzzled expression he gave her earlier. "What are your thoughts Jacob? I won't take them without your permission." She said in a soft tone.  
How he wished he could tell her everything, just let all of the anxiety and emotions from the past twenty for hours go and allow someone else to carry the weight for once. Finally, with a shaking voice, he answered her. "I love you Renesmee and I want the best for you. Maybe the best is someone younger and you have more in common with. I saw the way you and Seth were together and it makes me think you two belong together, he's imprinted on you Nessie. I don't know if I'm the best choice."

  
"You're my only choice." She said and crushed her mouth against his once more and this time, Jacob didn't stop it. He couldn't deny her any longer; she was too beautiful to ignore. His hands clasped against her sides and squeezed them lightly. He wanted to feel her bare skin against his chest. His fingers slipped underneath the white satin blouse and felt the flat surface of her stomach. Renesmee shivered and moved her lips down to the warmth of his neck. Jacob's fists grasped at the edge of the silk and tugged it over Renesmee's head and saw her in all her glory.  
Her skin was milky and smooth, Jacob couldn't see one freckle or blemish on her as he took her in like drink. He almost groaned with longing and kissed the soft skin behind her ear as he reached around and unhooked her bra. He looked down and took a moment to feast his eyes on her; to commit every inch of flesh to his memory. "You're so beautiful." He murmured as his hands brushed her breasts.

  
Renesmee sighed softly and tilted her head back, heart hammering in her chest.

  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jacob asked her solemnly. He would kill himself if he ever hurt her. When she nodded for the final time, Jacob gently laid her on the soft moss and gently eased himself on top of her. This could have been all they'd done and it would have been enough. Shivers erupted from his body as his hands ran up and down her torso, over her breasts and nipples. They were small and the color of blush like a rosebud. His mouth covered one of them as Renesmee swiftly and gracefully undid his cutoffs and slid them down his hips with her feet.

  
Jacob had to pause and looked down at her, grinning. "Where did you learn how to do that, Ms. Nessie?"

  
A faint blotch of red dusted her cheeks as she smiled at him. "I do live with very sexually active family members."

  
He felt uncomfortable thinking about Blondie and Emmett, even Bella and Leech having sex while Renesmee was still in the house. He didn't want her innocence to be tarnished by such impure visions. He looked at her and then laughed. He thought it ironic that he wanted to shelter Renesmee from such thoughts but there he was with his hands covering her breasts.

  
"Your face lights up so much when you laugh." Renesmee said with a musical giggle. He smiled and kissed her once more, silencing her. He slipped her skirt from her waist and kissed her stomach. He wanted to ask her if she was sure one more time but he somehow already knew the answer.

  
He lowered himself back over her and kissed her forehead tenderly.

  
"I love you." She whispered.

  
His hand smoothed her dark brown curls. "I love you too Nessie." With slow and deliberate movements, he entered her and almost felt the need to hold his breath. He felt his skin grow even warmer as Renesmee's fingers clawed into his back as she sighed softly.

  
They began to move together in beautiful harmony, their bodies matching the beats with the crickets and steady flow of the river at their feet. He'd never felt so complete or so enveloped in her warmth and he never wanted this feeling to end. His hands dug into the moist soil as he moved in graceful figure eights. Renesmee sighed again and the two of them rode to completion.

  
Jacob wiped his brow and kissed her deeply, overcome with love. "Thank you." He said softly. "I don't think you know how happy you've made me." Jacob pulled her into his arms and cradled her close to his chest. He felt Renesmee sigh, her breath was cool against him.

  
"I love you." She whispered.

  
They sat there and held one another, counting the space between each heartbeat. With that moment, time stood still.


End file.
